A review of Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix

In today’s world, the area of counseling and psychotherapy is becoming more and more popular. With this in mind, self-help guides are being published by dozens. While there are many areas where people are looking for guidance, one of the more common involves the want for love. A book which has become a best-seller is Getting the Love You Want, A Guide For Couples by Harville Hendrix. Here follows a brief review of this book.

Overview

Oprah Winfrey once introduced Dr Hendrix on her show as being the best marital therapist she has ever known. However, does the respected doctor convey wise words that can truly help couples solve their relationship problems? The answer to this, on the whole, is yes. Imago therapy His whole theory is essentially founded on the idea of the Imago theory. This is in some ways fairly similar to Jung’s Animo/Anima in the sense that it represents an image of our ‘other half’. This is effectively the person who should be able to make each of us feel ‘whole’, someone who can help us heal the wounds that were inflicted on us during our childhood. The problem that most of us seem to have, however, is that we always fall into the trap of choosing a partner who are very similar to our childhood guardians. We do this because, apparently, in reality we are looking for someone to re-inflict our childhood wounds in the hope that they will then heal them.

Positive points

On the positive side of things, Dr. Hendrix certainly understands the importance of the role our parents have in our development. He knows all too well that if one or both parents either gave us too much affection or none at all, then we will be more likely become ‘damaged' adults. Thus, he well defines how the personal history of each partner will be the likely cause of any relationship problems. Resolving issues
Thus Dr. Hendrix spends a lot of time explaining how until we do not identify the root of our anger and bitterness, we will not be able to resolve the problems in our relationships. This is where both the simplicity and effectiveness of Hendrix's theories can be highly beneficial to any couples who are experiencing relationship problems.

Negative points

On the negative side of things, Dr. Hendrix relies too much on the biological side of things. In fact, for him, we are simply biological beings. Conclusion However, on the whole, the insights in Hendrix's theories may help many couples in solving their relationship problems. A final word Dr Hendrix has recently published a very useful companion guide workbook.